The Sutters are reality TV royalty.
Trista picked Ryan in the very first season of The Bachelorette, and they’ve been married ever since. They are one of the only couples from 20 seasons of the show to have survived. The poster couple for dating shows across America. So when Ryan took to Instagram to talk about how much he missed his wife, the internet did what the internet does best and assumed the absolute worst.
Separation rumours rippled through social media.
Were Ryan and Trista over? Had reality TV’s unicorn couple fallen apart when no one was looking? Had one of them done the dirty causing the other to break it off?
Spolier alert: No. But it got real dramatic there for a minute. The very fabric of civilisation nearly unravelled over an Instagram caption. Somewhere, Shakespeare was weeping.
So what was the truth behind the separation rumours, and why did anyone care?
How the Rumour Started
In May of 2024, Ryan Sutter posted a series of messages on his Instagram account.
Now, Ryan is a bit of a philosopher, so his posts are often quite deep, quite emotional, and without context, they can be cryptic. Here’s the first:
View this post on Instagram
Well, maybe she’s just away on holiday or something, right? It got the rumour mill going, but it was this next one that really got fans in a tizz:
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Sorry what!? This sounds like a guy giving his wife space while she figures out if she really wants to be with him.
That’s exactly what the internet thought, anyway.
The posts were just vague enough that people could take them in a number of different ways, and it was like catnip to the media and gossip obsessed fans. Perfect for wild speculation.
So Where Was Trista?
Was she taking some time away to re-evaluate what she wanted from life? Had her and Ryan had a blazing row and decided to temporarily separate?
No.
She was at work, away filming series 3 of ‘Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test’.
To be fair, she was at a stage in life where she wanted to reassess, but not in terms of her relationship. She had been a stay at home Mom for a long time, and wanted to do something for herself. When the opportunity to take part in the Special Forces show presented itself it was perfect timing, so off she went.
The pair use their Insta accounts as a sort of online journal, and Ryan knew Trista would be able to access her account before she was able to contact him. All communication is cut off during filming for Special Forces, and he missed her, so her wrote her some messages online.
That was it. What a palava over nothing!
Trista had signed an NDA as part of her contract so couldn’t explain where she was, and obviously neither could Ryan, which is why the speculation and separation rumours were able to flourish.
Aftermath
When Trista’s participation on ‘Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test’ had been announced, she was finally able to shut down the separations rumours. The Sutters had not split up.
She understood the confusion, but also said it was kind of sweet to realise that people were still interested:
“If you read it back now it makes total sense. I was gone, and now you can understand that I was at Special Forces filming the show.”
“Everyone was like, ‘Is she having a nervous breakdown? Did they get a divorce? Are they on a trial separation?’ It was crazy. But it really made me feel like, ‘Aww, you guys still care.'”
Ryan updated his Instagram page with another post too:
View this post on Instagram
Incredibly, Ryan took quite a lot of flack for the posts. He was accused of creating drama, seeking attention, deliberately starting rumours for social media views, and more.
He explained the posts were intended as a sort of love letter, but that they “blew up in his face”, and reiterated it was never his intention to cause such a stir.
So a husband missing his wife turned into a tabloid tornado, and then he got the blame for it afterwards. Typical.
Still, it provided media outlets with something to write about for a few weeks.